


jamais vu

by rosybumblebee



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Awkward Boyfriends, First Date, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Oral Sex, They're stupid and in love, True Love, cute dates, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 11:02:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20044915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosybumblebee/pseuds/rosybumblebee
Summary: please give me a remedya remedy that will make my heart beat again





	jamais vu

Haise checks the watch on his wrist, his leg bouncing up and down with anticipation, and a pinch of excitement too. It’s his third date with Tsukiyama-san, and he likes him a lot. he likes him so much that he’s thinking of asking him to be his boyfriend, to be something exclusive. Well, why wouldn’t he? Tsukiyama-san is sweet, nice, smart, and he likes the same book genres as him. That is _extremely_ important.

His thoughts are interrupted by someone tapping his shoulder and sitting in front of him, someone extremely pretty. “Oh, h-hi. Sorry, I was just… distracted,” Haise smiles apologetically, and Tsukiyama waves his hand dismissively, a lovely smile on his face. “Don’t worry! You chose a nice place,” he notices, looking around the coffee shop. “Very cozy.” “Yeah, I… it’s one of my favorites,” Haise nods. “So, uhm… the movie starts at nine thirty, we should get there by nine, so we’ll have time to get the tickets.”

“Oui, that sounds good to me. I’m sorry we couldn’t have dinner together, but my father really wanted me to have dinner with him,” Shuu chuckles. His dad would actually be more than happy to see his son go out on a dinner date after years of being bed-ridden and depressed, but Haise didn’t know he was a ghoul, so of course he couldn’t eat dinner with him. Or he could, but he’d have to spend the rest of the night bent over the toilet and throwing everything up in the bathroom, and that really wasn’t how he would want the date to end.

There are other ways how he’d want the date to end, and the best one he could imagine involved him bent over in a much more pleasant way.

While they chat and laugh together, Haise sometimes stops to stare at Shuu while the other talks, a small smile on his face. He doesn’t know why, but… he feels like he knows Tsukiyama. Not just as a friend, as… something more intimate. Maybe he knows him from his past? Could Tsukiyama be a friend of… Kaneki Ken? He almost wants to ask him that, but he doesn’t want to make things awkward and potentially ruin their date.

He’s already awkward and stupid enough as it is.

_He’s so cute when he talks so passionately about books, I want to kiss him so bad, oh my god???_

After their coffee date, they walk over to the cinema, almost holding hands and walking so close their hips and shoulders often bump together, buy tickets for a romantic comedy, and go sit in their seats. “A romantic comedy? I didn’t peg you as such a softie, but I really don’t mind,” Shuu teases, and Haise lets out a huff, smiling slightly. “Shut up. I can be a strong, fearsome investigator when I want to,” he says, causing Shuu to giggle. “Really? Maybe one day you could show me how strong you really are,” he winks.

_And by “show me”, I mean “please pick me up, throw me against a wall and have your sweet, dirty little way with me”._

Haise blushes at the implication, if there’s even an implication, since Shuu could just be hinting at something else, or… or maybe he’s just panicking, because Shuu is just so pretty, the prettiest guy he’s ever seen, and he just wants to send the Quinx to Akira-san’s house, bring Shuu home and do unspeakable things to him.

“…maybe I will,” he smiles shyly.

_This is it. This is how I die,_ Shuu thinks, biting his lip and thanking every deity in the sky that they chose to go to the cinema, so that Haise can’t see how red his cheeks are.

“He’s cute, isn’t he?” a freakishly familiar voice purrs in Haise’s head, and he cringes slightly, furrowing his eyebrows in distress. Why would Kaneki even care about this… unless he knew Tsukiyama-san, of course. But that would mean Tsukiyama-san is a ghoul, probably, and Haise really doesn’t want him to be, because that would mean he’d have to… no, no thinking about weird, bad stuff. He’s supposed to have fun tonight, and he will.

About fifteen minutes into the movie, Haise thinks of the coolest, smoothest move in the world and pretends to yawn, stretching and arm behind himself and slowly resting it around Shuu’s shoulders, smiling smugly at himself and proclaiming victory in his head. That is, until Shuu turns around to look at him curiously and ask, “What are you doing?”.

“I’m… nothing. I-I thought I put my arm on my seat but instead it was you, haha, I’m so silly, sorry,” Haise laughs quietly, starting to remove his arm, only to be stopped by Shuu’s hand holding his and pulling his arm back down around his shoulders. “It’s okay. I just wanted to… make sure you were doing what I thought you were doing. Even though it’s a pretty old move, it’s really cute,” Shuu giggles, leaning towards Haise and resting his head on his shoulder, causing Haise’s heart to jump in his chest and his saliva to stop in his throat, making him choke. He coughs and takes a sip of water, his cheeks a deep red. “S-Sorry. I’m okay. I’m… yeah. Good,” he nods, absolutely loving the slight weight of Shuu’s head on his shoulder.

Shuu, on the other hand, is kind of dying. It’s an extremely jarring experience to be able to cuddle at a movie theatre with his Kaneki-kun, even though he technically isn’t his Kaneki-kun, or… or he is. He still doesn't quite get what's going on, but whatever. He is barely watching the movie, a quarter of his mind concentrated on how to get Kaneki’s memories back, and the majority of it thinking about how nice Haise’s arm around him is, and how good he smells. Not just in a “food” way, of course he’s stopped looking at him like that a long time ago. If only he hadn’t been stupid and had realized it sooner…

After the movie, Shuu has another crisis. It’s maybe the fifth one of the night. Does he say goodbye and that’s it? Does he invite him back to his place for coffee, even though they had coffee just before the movie? Does he pull him into the cinema’s bathroom and do dirty stuff with him? No, he’s really not the type for things like that. He’d like to do the dirty stuff, but with a bed under them. He wouldn’t do it in a bathroom on their first date, maybe when they’ve been together for a few months.

Fortunately, Haise precedes him, and asks, “Hey, uhm… do you want to come to my apartment for a bit? The kids aren’t there, so… we can relax for a bit.” That’s right, during the movie, after having made sure Shuu wouldn’t see him, he had texted Akira, asking her desperately to take the kids out for ice cream, waffles, just… whatever, he just needed the apartment to be empty when he would take Shuu back. Shuu almost breaks his neck by nodding so fast, barely containing his happy grin. “Oui! I-I’d love to. I’d like to… spend more time with you,” he smiles sweetly.

With a happy skip in his step, Haise leads Shuu back to his place, already mentally listing all the things he’d like to do to Shuu. Only if Shuu wanted it too, of course, he’s a gentleman and needs his consent before doing anything. But after that, _then_ he can do those things to him. “Do you… want coffee? Even if we’ve already had one a couple hours ago?” he giggles, taking off his shoes and coat as they step inside. “Or something to eat? I have cookies, some chocolate cake left, if Saiko hasn’t inhaled it yet, or chips, or-“

“Just coffee will be okay, merci,” Shuu smiles, hoping Haise wouldn’t ask questions, and indeed, he doesn’t, and walks to the kitchen to make them some coffee. “Your place is really nice… it’s so you, since there’s so many books and you’ve told me the only thing your kids have ever read are manga and video game instructions booklets,” Shuu giggles, sitting down on the couch.

“Yeah, those books are mine. Sometimes Mutsuki reads, but his books are in his room. I have more books in my bedroom too, maybe I can show you later,” Haise winks, coming back to the living room with two cups of coffee and handing one to Shuu, sitting down next to him.

_ Show me everything you want, daddy,_ Shuu thinks, but what he actually says is more similar to an awkward, fumbling splutter of incoherent words. “I-I, oui, I’m… okay. I-I’d love it,” he nods, taking a sip of coffee.

“Haah… it’s just as good as I rem-I mean, I-I remember you told me you made good coffee, and… it really is good,” Shuu nods.

_Phew… way to be smooth and not let him know I’ve actually known him for years._

“Oh, thank you. I usually don’t brag about anything, except for my coffee,” Haise chuckles. “Didn’t you brag about being a strong, fearsome investigator just a couple hours ago?” Shuu teases, shuffling closer to Haise and causing him to blush and purse his lips together. “…okay, yes, I’ll admit I’m a good investigator too,” he laughs. Then, he tries to gather up all the courage he has to ask the next thing. “So, uhm… are you… romantically involved with anyone at the moment?”.

Shuu bites his lip, unsure of what to say. Does he say no and act like a normal person, or does he say that yes, he does like someone and had a relationship with him, and he’s technically on a date with a memory-less version of that someone? …maybe he doesn’t need to say that.

“I, uhm… non. I’m single, though… I kind of like someone,” Shuu smiles sweetly, not so subtly batting his lashes and tentatively placing a hand on Haise’s thigh.

_If this were Kaneki, I would already be on my knees. Nice._

Too bad Haise doesn’t catch on, and frowns, staring down at his cup of coffee. “Oh… that’s great…” he sighs, pursing his lips together. “Uhm… who are they, if I can ask? I-I’m just curious.”

“Well, I can’t tell you that, can I? That would ruin the surprise effect,” Shuu giggles.

_Oh my God, Tsukiyama-san, just say it already, Haise is too stupid to notice it so you might as well jump me_, Kaneki groans in Haise’s head, who’s pretty much shocked, though he tries not to show it, since he doesn’t really want Shuu to know there’s the voice of a dangerous ghoul in his head, possibly his past self, telling Tsukiyama to… jump him. Does that mean they knew each other in the past? And Kaneki didn’t sound surprised, so does that mean Kaneki and Tsukiyama have hooked up before? Does Tsukiyama like him, then? And did Kaneki just call him stupid?!

He decides to be a little bolder and trust Kaneki, since apparently, Tsukiyama is so into him _“he’s pretty much begging for it, Haise, do something or I will”,_ and licks his lips, placing his hand over Shuu’s, the one on his thigh, and smirks slightly. “Well, if you don’t tell me, I won’t be able to kiss that pretty smile off your face.”

_…a little cheesy, but yeah, Tsukiyama-san likes cheesy,_ Kaneki says.

Meanwhile, Shuu widens his eyes, almost bursting out in screams and tears of joy but containing himself, just nodding dumbly. “W-Well… maybe you could just… kiss me, and see if you understand it on your own?” he asks softly, and Haise doesn’t waste time: he leans in and kisses Shuu, cupping his cheek and faintly hearing Kaneki sigh _“Finally,”_ in his head.

The soft kiss turns a little rougher, a little wetter, and soon enough Shuu finds himself lying on his back on the couch, Haise climbing over him and peppering kisses down his cheek and neck. Shuu almost tears up, welcoming the familiar feeling of Kaneki, even though this wasn’t one hundred percent Kaneki but whatever, over him.

_ Maybe, this way, he’ll remember me… I mean, he can’t forget everything I’ve done to him in bed that easily. I rocked his world. Multiple times._

Haise runs his hands down Shuu’s chest, sides and waist and rests them on his hips, moving back up to kiss Shuu’s lips again, gasping softly when he feels Shuu gently nip at his lower lip and slide his tongue into his mouth. “S-Shuu…” he sighs, sneaking his hands under Shuu’s shirt and up his chest, holding his waist. “Can I…?” he asks, gently tugging on the other’s shirt and grinning when Shuu nods: so, Haise sits up and unbuttons Shuu’s shirt, kissing each inch of newly exposed skin until he takes Shuu’s shirt off completely, taking a moment to admire him properly. “…wow. You look… stunning,” he smiles, while Kaneki whistles lowly in his head.

_Whew… I wish I had control over my body right now._

Haise ignores him and leans down to tease Shuu’s nipples with his tongue, making the other moan softly and bury his hands in Haise’s hair. “H-How about we… go to your bedroom?” Shuu asks breathlessly. Haise doesn’t need to be told twice and immediately picks up Shuu and slings him over his shoulder, making him giggle as he rushes towards his bedroom, pretty much throwing Shuu on the bed and climbing over him, kissing him passionately.

“Not fair… you’re still clothed,” Shuu pouts, pulling on Haise’s shirt. “I wanna see you too.”

“Anything,” Haise smiles. He sits up and takes off his shirt, and he’s about to lean down to kiss Shuu again when he’s stopped by a hand on his chest gently pushing him away. “What is it?” he asks, but Shuu just shakes his head, pursing his lips together. “Nothing. I just… wanna look at you. You’re… beautiful,” Shuu murmurs, looking at Haise’s body.

_He’s so stunning, I missed him so much… my Kaneki-kun, it’s so unreal that he’s here with me again…_

“Look who’s talking,” Haise chuckles softly. He settles more comfortably between Shuu’s spread thighs and kisses his lips again, moving down his neck and slowly rolling his hips against the other’s, eliciting a soft moan from both of them. “You can… you can take them off too, if you want,” Shuu breathes, glancing down at his own pants, and Haise gulps nervously, nodding and unbuttoning them, pulling them off and looking down at Shuu in awe. “You’re stunning…”

“So, we… we really want to do this?” he murmurs, and Shuu nods eagerly, blushing slightly. “I do. Do you?” he asks, and smiles as Haise nods and says, “But… I have to tell you that… this is my… my first time,” he mumbles shyly. “I-I mean… I don’t know if I’ve done it before and I don’t remember it, but… it’s my first time, as long as I can remember.”

_Oh, mon chéri… this isn’t your first time, and you definitely have no idea of what you’ve done to me in the past. You were pretty wild._

“That’s okay. I’ll guide you, then,” Shuu smiles, gently taking Haise’s hands in his and kissing his fingers, before moving them down to his boxers. “Go on. I give you the green light for pretty much everything,” Shuu giggles, and Haise blushes darkly as he pulls down his boxers, licking his lips as he looks down at Shuu. “…stop staring, it’s embarrassing,” Shuu huffs, looking away from Haise, who in response takes his cheeks in his hands and turns his face back towards his own, kissing him deeply. “You look amazing. Stop worrying so much,” he says, and sits up, taking his own pants off, followed by his underwear too. Shuu widens his eyes and looks at all of Haise, willing himself not to tear up again.

_ He’s truly the most beautiful man alive, how did I get so lucky? I love him, I love him so much, I missed him, oh mon Dieu please don’t cry or he’ll think you’re weird, he doesn’t know we have slept together multiple times in the past and this is the first time in years, awful years, that I’m alone with him, so don’t! you! cry!_

“…are you crying?” Haise asks, tilting his head as he notices Shuu’s glossy, teary eyes. “Oh my God, did I make you uncomfortable? Did I do something wrong?! We can stop right now if you don’t feel okay, we will stop right now-“

“Non! Non, I’m okay, really. I don’t want to stop, and you didn’t make uncomfortable. I just… get a little emotional during sex, especially if it’s the first time with someone… sorry,” Shuu giggles, wiping at his eyes.

_ “Nah, you’re just a romantic sap… but I missed you too,”_ Kaneki sighs in Haise’s head, and yes, now Haise is definitely certain he and Tsukiyama knew each other in the past, but doesn’t want to ask about that now… and maybe not even later. Who knows what he might bring up, and if it’ll ruin their new relationship, which is the last thing he wants.

“Come here,” Shuu murmurs, gently taking Haise’s cheeks in his hands and pulling him down to kiss him slowly and deeply, wrapping a leg around his waist and running his fingers through his hair. He takes one of Haise’s hands and guides it down to his butt, causing the other to blush and giggling when he feels Haise give it a tentative, soft squeeze. “You can be a little more aggressive, you know,” Shuu laughs softly, and Haise blushes even darker. “S-Shut it…”

Haise tries to be a little braver and slides his hand between Shuu’s legs, gently taking his cock and stroking it slowly, making Shuu gasp softly. He smirks, now more confident than before, and kisses down Shuu’s neck, leaving little nips behind as he rolls his hips against Shuu’s, pressing his hard on against him and grabbing his thigh with his other hand. “What do you wanna do, huh? Talk to me, Shuu,” Haise purrs, and Shuu, who is pretty much focused on not instantly dying by heart attack, swears there’s a little bit of Kaneki in that tone. “I-ah… I-I want you, Haise, I want you so bad,” he pants, and Haise in response speeds up his movements, stroking Shuu a little faster and nipping at his collarbone. “Yeah? Want me to do /what/, exactly?”

Shuu whines impatiently, though he loves being teased like this, and spreads his legs wider, placing his hands on Haise’s biceps and squeezing them lightly. “I-I want you to… to fuck me. Please, Sasaki-san, please,” he moans, lifting his head to kiss Haise’s neck languidly. Kaneki loved it when Shuu referred to him with slightly formal honorifics during sex, just to remind him who was really in charge, so maybe Haise would like it too…

And he definitely does, if Haise’s sharp intake of breath is of any indication. Shuu smirks to himself as Haise grinds his hips harder against him, needier, and nods quickly, biting his lip. “Yes, god, yes… I want you so bad, Shuu.” he whines, and Shuu jerks his hips up, gasping at the contact on his cock. “Then come get me, I’m right here.”

Haise moves down Shuu’s chest and stomach, kissing and touching everywhere he can reach until he gets to between Shuu’s legs and places a tentative kiss on the side of the other’s cock, making him moan. He sucks lightly on the tip, slowly stroking the rest of him, and takes him in his mouth, just a couple of inches at first, and starts to move up and down, taking him a little deeper with each bob of his head. He feels Shuu’s hands tug desperately at his hair, hears him moan and gasp his name, and thinks that he wants it to be his new ringtone, so that he can hear Shuu lose it every single time someone calls or texts him. That wouldn’t probably be a good idea, but a man can dream.

After a few minutes, Shuu gently pulls Haise’s head off him. He stares mesmerized at the thin string of saliva and pre-come connecting Haise’s lips and the head of his cock and regains the ability to speak a few seconds later. “I want to come while you’re inside me,” he says, knowing Kaneki used to like it when Shuu spoke dirty to him, and indeed, Haise looks like he’s about to die if he doesn’t fuck Shuu in the next five minutes.

“Holy sh… yeah, yeah, let me find… oh my god, oh no, I don’t have condoms, I forgot to bring them, oh my god, nooo,” Haise babbles, almost on the verge of tears because he’s just so desperate to just sink into Shuu and the fact that he may not be able to is like fate is making fun of him, and he actually almost cries in relief when Shuu, sweet, sweet angel of the Lord above, giggles and says, “Don’t worry, I do have lube and condoms. First drawer in my nightstand.”

“…you’re a gift to mankind,” Haise groans, quickly kissing Shuu’s lips before grabbing the lube and a condom. He slicks his fingers up and slowly massages Shuu’s entrance to warm him up, asking him if he’s okay and sliding a finger inside him after he receives a positive response. He stretches him out slowly, careful not to hurt him, and maybe a little too careful, because Shuu whines impatiently after a couple of minutes and wiggles his hips. “Mon amour, I’m fine, there’s no need to be so soft,” he chuckles breathlessly.

Haise smiles apologetically and adds a second finger, moving them in and out and scissoring Shuu, kissing down his neck in a teasing manner and occasionally nipping at his skin, smiling as he hears Shuu gasp quietly. “Haise, please…” After having prepared him with three fingers, Haise makes sure Shuu is okay and ready at least four times before Shuu threatens him with rolling them over and riding him within an inch of his life, and Haise almost asks if he’s okay a fifth time just to let him do that, but the desire to pound Shuu into the mattress at his own pace is too strong.

Haise opens the little packet and rolls the condom on, lining up with Shuu’s entrance. “I’m gonna go now. Ready?” he asks. Shuu nods eagerly, spreading his legs wider, and Haise kisses his forehead before pushing inside, gasping and gripping Shuu’s thighs, his head hanging low. “Oh my… Shuu, you feel so good…” he groans, and Shuu whimpers in response. “Mhm… you do too,” he says, placing his hands on Haise’s biceps and not so subtly squeezing them.

_Oh mon Dieu, I missed this so much, I missed him so much… holy shit, I’d almost forgotten how big he is!!_

Haise pushes inside all the way, until his hips are flush with Shuu’s, and he presses his face into Shuu’s neck, panting softly and kissing his jawline. “Tell me when I can move, okay?”

“Oui, I just… need a moment to adjust. You’re pretty gifted,” Shuu giggles, and Haise blushes darkly, hiding his face against Shuu even further. “Stooop, you’re embarrassing…”

“We’re already in a compromising position, mon cher, I doubt anything else can be embarrassing,” Shuu laughs, and Haise shuts him up with a kiss, though he’s giggling himself.

A few moments later, when Shuu’s fully adjusted, Haise starts to move back and forth, groaning softly and biting his lip, feeling each slow drag against his sensitive skin. “Feels so good… so tight,” he sighs, kissing Shuu’s shoulder. “Ah, hah… mhh, Haise…” Shuu moans, rolling his hips against Haise and trying to push against him to take him deeper. “Faster, please…” Haise obliges and thrusts faster, harder, until the headboard’s bumping against the wall and Shuu is whimpering in need with each thrust, digging his nails into Haise’s back and scratching it, leaving red marks behind.

He feels his head throb and some pangs of pain, but ignores them; they happened pretty frequently anyway, especially during intense moments like fights, so it was nothing to worry about.

_Don’t you remember, Haise? Him, writhing and moaning under you, begging and crying in pleasure because of you?_

A white flash passes behind his eyes and Haise shakes his head, holding Shuu’s knees and pushing his thighs further apart, bending down to bite on his neck. _Stop, Kaneki, stop it… _

Underneath him, Shuu arches his back and yelps as Haise brushes his sweet spot, a shudder akin to an electric shock running down his spine. “There, again, yes, yes!” he whines, running a hand through his own hair and pushing it away from his sweaty forehead. Haise changes angle of his hips, searching for Shuu’s sweet spot until he hears him scream out in pleasure again, and keeps hitting straight into it, grunting and holding his waist.

He looks down at Shuu, his hair messy and his cheeks flushed, his lips shaped into a pretty “O” as he moans and cries for Haise, and in that moment, Haise is sure he has the most beautiful man alive in his bed.

_Come on, Haise, stop fighting it… you can feel it coming, don’t you?_

Haise feels his head throb again, this time harder than before, and he gasps both in pain and pleasure, clenching his teeth as he drives into Shuu harder, making him moan again, louder. “Close, close, f-fuck, like that…” Shuu pants, and Haise wraps a hand around his cock to stroke him in time with his thrusts. “Come on, let go, let me see you…” Shuu comes a few moments later, crying out and throwing his head back, his toes curling in pleasure as Haise keeps stroking him through his orgasm.

_Give me my body back, Haise. You don’t belong here, go away, it’s mine, mine, **mine-**_

Haise screams as he comes shortly after Shuu, doesn’t know if because of the ecstasy between his legs or the excruciating pain in his brain, and he feels his kakugan turn and it hurts like hell. A flood of memories come back to him and he doesn’t even know what’s going on, only that after he’s come back to his senses, his face is wet with tears and buried into Shuu’s neck, while he’s clinging to him like a lifeline.

Kaneki clenches and unclenches his fingers, and does the same with his toes, feeling his body, his own, again. He takes a deep breath, his eyes stinging with tears, and only then has the courage to lift his head and look who’s holding him in the eyes, who’s looking at him with a concerned look on his stunning face. He had missed this face so much…

“Haise? Are you okay? Was it too intense?” Shuu asks, stroking Kaneki’s hair lovingly, and his soft voice is like the most soothing music to Kaneki’s ears. He shakes his head, sitting up and blinking in confusion as some strands of jet black hair fall over his eyes.

“Uh… your hair is black. All of it,” Shuu says, tilting his head curiously as he gently touches a piece of it. Kaneki-kun’s hair did have a tendency to change all on its own. Maybe it’s the RC cells…?

“…hi,” Kaneki breathes out, tearing up again as he watches Shuu looking at him confused, and how his face changes when he finally realizes what’s going on.

“…Kaneki-kun?” he chokes out, and sobs as Kaneki nods. He throws himself in his arms and cries freely against him shoulder, sobbing and hugging him as tight as he can, terrified that something will appear and take him away from him again. “Is it really you? Oh mon dieu, you’re really here, you’re back, you’re back,” Shuu cries, climbing into Kaneki’s lap and wrapping his legs around his waist, sitting on the mattress.

Kaneki can’t help but cry too, holding Shuu against him and rubbing his back soothingly, breathing in his sweet scent, the one he had missed so much. “I’m here, it’s me, it’s me. I’m back,” he whispers, his voice shaking.

“How… how did it happen? Did you gain all your memories back?” Shuu asks, sniffling and pulling away slightly to look at Kaneki, cupping his face like he’s the most precious thing in the world. Well, he technically is.

“I don’t know. on our date, I kept telling Haise that you, ah… you were cute, and I was teasing him, and just… trying to make him… or me, I guess… remember something. While we were… doing it… I felt some headaches and my left eye hurt too, and when it got too much, it just… happened,” Kaneki explains. “I don’t know why, or how. And yeah, I have all my memories back. I’m… me.”

“You know what? I don’t even care why, or how. What matters is that you came back to me,” Shuu sighs, pulling Kaneki’s face closer and kissing him passionately, running his hand through his hair. “…black hair suits you, mon amour. Keep it like this. It reminds me of when we first met,” he smiles, twirling a strand around his finger and kissing it. Kaneki smiles and nods, still shaken from what had happened. He breathes deeply, slowly calming down, and burrows his face in Shuu’s chest.

“…what will I do now? I… I don’t want to stay with the CCG. But I can’t leave. They keep an eye on me, and I don’t want to leave the Quinx alone, they’re like my kids. I…”

“Shh. Not now. We’ll figure it out together, okay? And with the others too, we’re all here for you. We all missed you so much. But I missed you the most,” Shuu giggles, kissing the top of Kaneki’s head.

“That’s right, oh my god, I have to meet the others too. Touka-chan, Yomo-san, Nishio-senpai… Hinami, oh my god, Hinami… we have to break her out of Cochlea,” Kaneki says, almost out of breath, and Shuu soothes him again, rubbing his back. “We will. We’ll meet up with our friends and figure it out together, okay? But you need to rest for a few hours at least, you’re tired.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah, I… yeah,” Kaneki nods. He lies back down on the bed and immediately curls up against Shuu, resting his head on his chest. “…I’m sorry. About everything. I’m sorry this happened.”

“It’s okay, mon chouchou, it’s not your fault. I’m just happy you’re finally back. Now rest,” Shuu murmurs, slowly running his fingers up and down Kaneki’s spine.

“I love you.”

Kaneki smiles contentedly, snuggling under the covers against Shuu, and doesn’t think about anything else as he closes his eyes. What will come, will come. What matters, is that someone will be there with him along the way, holding his hand.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> DDBHSSJNKJS I'M BACK 
> 
> hope you liked it!! i wrote this as a commission for orbitlovebot on twitter, charlie hope u like it 
> 
> i miss these two so much and i'll try to get into writing again, i lost interest in it for a while but i had fun writiing this and i wanna get back to it hhnnnggg
> 
> my tumblr accounts are rosybumblebee and gourmetbooty as always, but i'm much more active on twitter now, so feel free to follow me there!!! my @ is pinkychimchim
> 
> kuros and especially comments are always appreciated, thank you so much!!! <3


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